Mean Uncaring Insurance Companies Root Of Health Care Crisis

In a statement released by a high ranking Obama administration official last week, many may find it obvious that the root of our health care crisis in this country lies squarely on the back of greedy, uncaring, profiteeriing insurance companies.

Health and Human Services Secretary Kathleen Sebelius said in a news conference Tuesday, “For too long insurance companies have stacked the deck against women, forcing us to pay more for coverage that didn’t meet our needs.”

The federal government, to protect us from greedy profiteering and uncaring insurance companies have mandated that profits must be shared with the masses. This mandate, better known as the Minimum Loss Ratio requirement, makes it nearly impossible for an insurance company to make a profit off the backs of hard working Americans who otherwise could not pay the exhorbitant fees charged by hospitals and doctors.

“It grates against all moral fiber to see greedy insurance companies make a profit off the pain and suffering of sick Americans whom many would otherwise die an early death due to lack of financial resources that prolong the lifestyles of hospital administrators and other kind and giving health care providers who are also our neighbors” said Don Pedro.

“The government now needs to sanction gas station owners against the high price of oil! The government needs to take over all the gas stations in the United States and dictate lower gas prices!” It’s the new American way of conducting business” said Hugo Chavez in a statement released yesterday from his hospital bed in Havana.