“We care about our employees! We want the cheapest insurance money can buy! There’s no limit to how much we can save and we’ll spend it until we get there!” says the nice HR lady in between calls from angry plan members.
“Have you tried Reference Based Pricing or Cash Pay as a strategy to achieve cheapness?” asked Pinky, the pink panted visitor from Georgia.
“Are you kidding? Watch my lips…………WE CARE ABOUT OUR EMPLOYEES!” shouted the now snarling HR lady. “REFERENCE BASED PRICING IS FOR EMPLOYERS WHO DON’T CARE ABOUT THEIR EMPLOYEES!”
“What about Cash Pricing strategies? Have you checked that out” asked Pinky who’s known to host webinars while freezing his ass off in a Georgia deer blind.
“Are you crazy! Our Blue Cross discounts can’t be beat!” replied the now stammering HR lady as she panted in high stress exasperation.
“How do you know Blue Cross has the best discounts” whispered the pink panted mystery man in his polite southern drawl.
Lupita surreptitiously draws closer as she fumbles with her heating aid
“Because they told me so! …………….Enough of this! I’ve got work to do!” she said as she looks impatiently at Lupita the cleaning lady eavesdropping near the potted plant in the corner. “Lupita get me a Xanax!”
Phone rings: “Yes, you have a $3,000 deductible. No, you can’t go there they are not in network………..Make sure they pre-certify before you go………..Nope, we don’t cover that, you are only allowed two MRI’s in a year…………..Uh Huh, that’s right, you have to be over age 50 to get a free colonoscopy under the preventative care benefit, can’t you wait a few years to get that done, patience is a virtue!……………..Yea, I know. Rates went up………..Yep, your raise last month looks good on paper, but Blue Cross needed it more than you………….Nope, you can’t drop the insurance until our Cafeteria Plan renewal…………Oh, that’s a balance bill from a non-network provider, good luck with that!”………..
