By Joe Sixpack
It started Saturday morning. Throbbing pain from the lower left molar. Horrible pain. On a scale of 1-10 it’s a 20. What should I do, there’s not a dentist in town that works on a Saturday. Besides, I don’t have a dentist anyway. Haven’t seen one in years.
“Honey, go to the emergency room” says the wife. “But that’s expensive, we have a $300 copay for ER visits” I barked. “Give me a shot of tequila and grab the plyers!”
The pain devil whispered to my internal money manager “Give it up, pay the $300 and be done with it. Go to the emergency room NOW!”
So I did. The ER doctor took great care of me. I didn’t even have to wait. I showed up unannounced and they escorted me to the back in the comfort of a fur lined wheelchair. “Let’s do a MRI to see what’s happening” said the doctor. “Nurse, get him prepped!”.
“Yep, you have a toothache alright!” said the technician. “The doctor will probably pull it.” A faint voice in the hallway was heard…… “Nurse, 10 cc’s of tequila and a set of Hollywood pliers………..”
As I checked out I asked “What do I owe you today?”
“Nothing” winked the nice clerk. “We will bill you.”
And they never did. Why should they? They got $4,000 from my insurance company. So why risk pissing me off. Sales 101 teaches that good, fast and efficient service always creates repeat customers and a ($300) loss leader brings in the Big Bucks.
From now on I’m going to the ER for everything……..dental, vision, surgery, testing, you name it. Anyone who doesn’t and waits days and weeks to see a doctor and pays deductibles and copays are idiots. God Bless America!
