Pandemic Chaos To Subside November 4 – Women Rejoice

Gerard, our in-house prognosticator who is never wrong announced this morning that the dreaded Chinese Flu (The Pandemic) chaos will end abruptly on November 4, 2020. That’s good news for exhausted Americans.

“Symbols of Fear will be a thing of the past as Americans turn to science based evidence” says Gerard. The Great Prognosticator predicts schools will re-open, football season will begin in full swing, and hugging and handshaking will become widespread throughout the fruited plain.

Working women across the country gasped a sigh of relief upon learning the news. A national study done by the Institute of Strategic Studies (ISS) reports women have experienced a significant rise in aggressive eye contact from men in masks. “The terror of being aggressively eyed while in public by men in masks has been devastating. We are happy to hear the news that things will return to normal on November 4” said Amy Grebowski, lead researcher for the ISS.

One indicator  supporting Gerard’s vision is apparent. Walmart, Home Depot, Lowes, and CVS this week announced they will no longer be enforcing their Symbol of Fear mandate.

Walmart won’t enforce its rules on wearing masks because it fears staff could be attacked by shoppers angry at being challenged –

“We’re only about 100 days from liberation from the atmosphere of fear, free from the clutches of the Chinese Flu’s devastating side effects of fear, angst and visual seduction” says Gerard. “Trust me, I.m never wrong!_