Government Control of Food Tightens

With the advent of recent Congressional legislation and the passage of the 2014 Food For Every American Act (FEAA), the newly established Department of Food  & Nutrition (DF&N)  has released December 5  interim rules and regulations.

Barney Frank, Commissioner of the DF&N announced that the American food industry must be held accountable for ever increasing food costs in the United States. “It is outrageous what food suppliers are making! They are making millions off the backs of working Americans and must be held accountable!” lisped Mr. Frank in a rare press conference in the Rose Garden.

Newly re-elected President Barak Hussein Obama agreed. “Every American has a right to food and we must make sure that every American has food on their table. Today, we see the beginning of fair and equitable distribution of food stuffs in the United States. Greedy  and rich grocery store owners and their stockholders will be held accountable for the first time.  My administration intends to bring the full force of the law to bear on those who oppose  and ignore the Act.”

Under new rules promulgated today, beginning January 1 all grocery store chains must submit a monthly accounting to the Secretary of DF&N showing profit / loss statements. Grocers must maintain a profit margin of no more than 1%, down from the current industry average of 3%.  Any overage must be paid back to their customers within 90 days of each accounting period.

Minority owned Mom and Pop as well as union dominated grocery stores chains may apply for waivers.

To date, the legislation has not addressed food suppliers such as farmers, ranchers and processing plants.

Bill Ayers, leader of the Americans For Free Food  Labor Union (AFF) attended the Rose Garden press conference. “We support the FEAA although our members feel it does not go far enough. Why should rich people be able to purchase prime cut New York Strips while the average Amercan can only afford beans and rice? It is not only unfair, it is un-American. Government must step in and stop this atrocity!”

Under the FEAA, the food stamp program will be expanded to include all households making less than $150,000 per year. Payroll taxes of 12.4% on all working Americans, in addition to a surtax charge of 78% on all rich people (as defined by Government Code 1234) is projected to cover the cost of the program.

When asked about the Constitutionality of the FEAA, President Obama stated “With the recent Supreme Court decision upholding my ObamaCare Program, I see no distinction here that would lead me to conclude that the FEAA will not pass the same scrutiny with the court. With my recent appointment to the court, I now can tell you that I have total control of that branch of the federal government. The basic premise, of course, is that every American has a right to food and we must make sure that every American gets food. Even those that dont want food will be required to buy it.”