BROWNSVILLE, TEXAS
The Army, Navy, Marines, and Airforce recruiters stationed in Brownsville, Texas are rumored to be packing their bags and heading out-of-state to greener pastures bringing panic to area residents.
San Francisco is their preferred destination.
Brownsville Independent School District officials have called a Special Board Meeting to discuss remedies.
“Maybe we should stop feeding students all those horribly delicious meals. Let’s start by removing Chocolate Coco Puffs from the breakfast menu!” opined one official in off the record remarks.
“That’s a good start but I think we need to do more than that” says McHale, a local blogger. “We should eliminate the bus service and make students walk or ride their bicycles to school just like in the old days, even in the winter months, through snow ice and sleet.”
“Remember in ’67 when we got our draft notice? said Bill, a former Brownsville resident. “We were all herded onto a bus and sent to the Blue Bonnet Hotel in downtown San Antonio for our physicals the following day. As hard as some tried, few failed the physical back in those days.”
Brownsville, Texas, is now ranked as the unhealthiest city in the United States. That’s a national security issue.
THE FOLLOWING ARTICLE REFERRED BY JEFF BERNHARD
10 Healthiest, Unhealthiest Cities in 2025
By: Mariah Taylor – Monday, March 31st, 2025
San Francisco is the healthiest city in the U.S. while Brownsville, Texas, is the unhealthiest city, WalletHub found.
WalletHub compared 182 cities, including the 150 most populated cities in the U.S. plus at least two of the most populated cities in each state, across four dimensions: healthcare, food, fitness and green space. The dimensions used 41 metrics and were weighted on a 100-point scale, in which 100 shows the most favorable conditions for a healthy lifestyle. Read more on the methodology here.
Here are the healthiest and unhealthiest cities along with their overall grade.
Healthiest cities
San Francisco — 68.05
Honolulu — 63.34
Seattle — 63
Salt Lake City — 62.82
San Diego — 62.62
Portland, Ore. — 62.26
Denver — 61.18
Minneapolis — 61.17
Washington, D.C. — 61.08
Huntington Beach, Calif. — 60.51
Unhealthiest cities
Brownsville, Texas — 24.07
Gulfport, Miss. — 28.30
Shreveport, La. — 30.34
Columbus, Ga. — 30.61
Laredo, Texas — 31.21
Huntington, W.Va. — 31.53
Corpus Christi, Texas — 32.30
Fort Smith, Ark. — 33.05
Memphis, Tenn. — 33.52
Jackson, Miss. — 33.81
Fayetteville, N.C. — 34.03
