October 21, 2010
Washington
Today Congress passed the American Business Act. Hailing the passage of the Bill as “long overdue”, President Obama signed the bill into law in the Rose Garden.
The American Business Act prohibits business from operating on more than a 15% margin. Retention and retained profits cannot exceed this threshold. Investment income is to be counted towards the margin. Failure to maintain retention and profits at 15% or below will require business to refund the difference back to their customers.
Consumer groups are ecstatic. “Now greedy business owners will not be able to profit off the backs of the working man” said Monford Cornelius, an unemployed health insurance agent from Des Plaines.
“This bill is simply an extenstion of the Health Care Bill” noted President Obama. “We did it to insurance companies, so now we are doing it to all business. It’s the only fair thing to do, it is a natural progression of our New American Agenda” he continued.
Editor’s Note: Don Pedro brought this to our attention this afternoon after returing from an all night poker tournament in Southmost. “It’s true, I saw it with my own eyes” he protested as we questioned his sources. And out he went.